How to Cope When You Feel Disconnected

We all have moments when we feel a little bit off or just not quite in tune with our spirituality, intuition, or inner voice.  But what do we do when we feel completely disconnected for days or weeks at a time?

Unlike those small “off” moments, which can be triggered by relatively innocuous things like annoyance, brief lack of confidence, or just a plain old bad day, disconnection generally has larger roots.  Grief, depression, serious illness, surgery*, and new medications are all things that can and do vastly affect us on physical, emotional, and metaphysical levels.  But in these instances, knowing the cause isn’t necessarily helpful, as they are not circumstances that we can easily change.

So, what do we do?

The big answer—and the one I most often have trouble with—is patience.  Like any other mental or emotional blockage, very often it’s just something your body and mind have to work their way through.  But “be patient” is terrible advice, right?  You are already stressed, it’s like telling you to calm down.  So, here are a few things to try while you’re waiting:

Continue with routine as soon as possible
The causes that landed us in this state are also often things that disrupt our lives anyway.  The quicker that you can get back to some semblance of your “normal” life, the better.

Create new rituals
Whether you can continue with routine or not, maybe you need something new.  Here we want simple daily things that are not strenuous or time consuming.  Try something like ending each night writing down one thing that went well, or one thing you are grateful for.  Or lighting a candle for a cause that you believe in, or a person/people you’d like to help.

Practice meditation
In whatever way works for you (we have some tips on that).  If it allows you to feel something, great!  If not, hopefully it helps a bit with the relaxation you almost assuredly need.

Make time for fun
This one can be hard, I know.  But, as hokey as it sounds, your inner child does need a chance to roam.  And play is so important, for all creatures.  If you are physically able, a hike or even a short walk in nature can do wonders, and in the spirit of play I am rarely one to say no to a turn on a swing set.  You might also try having coffee or lunch with friends, or simply chatting on the phone or over text.  If being social isn’t your thing (or it’s too taxing due to the current situation), maybe you could splurge on a new book you’d been wanting to read, borrow a favorite from the library (e-books, looove), or veg out in front of the tv with that series you’ve been meaning to watch.

Don’t force it
Not yourself, nor any of these suggestions.   I can’t emphasize this enough.  Do. Not. Force. It.  You might be tempted to bargain or make deals—“If I do this every day, I’ll be back to normal a month and a day from now.”—don’t.  Added pressure will likely only make things worse.  We all heal at different rates and in different ways.  And as much as this might not feel like healing, I assure you, it is.

Remember that all things are cyclical.  You may feel lost, maybe even like you’ve veered off the path and cannot see a way through.  But if all of life is a circle, eventually the fog has to clear, and you will find your way back.

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*For the sake of clarity, disclosure, and all of that soul-baring fun(?) stuff, here’s a bit of personal insight from Melankalia:

I had surgery two weeks ago.  For the first time.  Out-patient, all went as expected (barring something of a major panic-attack coming out of anesthesia, NOT fun), recovery, healing, and physical therapy are all going well.  All good things.

But I feel weird.  There are mobility issues, the pain meds are not quite agreeing with me, and my stamina is sort of laughable, but these are things I expected and accounted for.  What I did not expect was to feel so very disconnected metaphysically, and (somewhat) emotionally.  I don’t know if it’s the physical trauma of surgery, a sensitivity to the new foreign bodies embedded in my flesh, lingering effects of being flooded with various medications, or just some chaotic out-of-whack result of all of the above.  But I just don’t feel….right.  My intuition, the “voices in my head”, my connection to deities and to nature all feel muted.  And now I am just biding my time…and trying to take my own advice.

But, I know, or at least I believe, that in time I’ll be feeling more me again.  And if you’re reading this, and struggling, I believe that eventually you will be okay again, too.

One thought on “How to Cope When You Feel Disconnected

  1. Pingback: How to Cope When You Feel Disconnected | Paths I Walk

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